Eli: “Maybe I should paint my chin.”

Me: “No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. How about just paint the paper, ok?”

Eli: “But I’m the artist.”

Me: “I know, and you’re making a great picture.”

Eli: “But I need to make a great picture on my chin.”

Me: “No, please.”

Eli: “But it’s just what artists DO.”

This painting, by the way, is called “Red boat on a stormy ocean.” I think it’s got legs at auction.

The first one he drew was apparently not a face, but a, um, “man poop.”

Then, though, he graduated to drawing a “cool astronaut” with a “small face.” Awesome.

The continuation of the astronaut drawing, because, after all, he needs hair.

And as usual with Eli, it all comes back to poop. Sigh.

Frankly, I thought we might never get the thing assembled, at the rate he was rolling, and trying to eat pineapple.

But I did eventually get him interested in adding his own toppings to the piece of dough we decided would be “his” pizza. He spooned a lot of sauce into his mouth in the process, and got very precise with the cheese.

We watched the pizzas cook pretty much the whole time. He would run up to the oven, peer in, and say, “hi, pizza!”

He was quite pleased with his creation:

I was a little worried when we sat down to eat, as he pulled off a piece of Canadian bacon, bit into it, looked at his plate and said, “this is very not good.” But once the offending pieces of meat were off, he ate two servings — his entire little pizza and a whole other slice.

He even helped me clean up!

Well. Sort of.

See the whole pizza-making set here.

He’s been into puzzles lately, but he’s mostly into tearing them apart once he completes them:

And although he doesn’t seem like a kid who needs coffee, he demands some from Uncle Matt in this game of “sugar high at the coffee shop.”

Also, he makes an *outstanding* sad face when he wants to, but for this video, well, he didn’t want to. Still, pretty hilarious.

“Eat my foot.”
“Do the robot.”
“Stand right there for the morning.” (i.e., stand in the doorway all night long)
“Get me my eggs and ketchup.”
“Go get a book. I stay here in the big bed.”

This is all usually accompanied by princely pointing or, at minimum, Imperious Tone. I guess I can’t let him get away with it for long.

I also realized when I was holding him and singing “Twinkle Twinkle” last night that his little foot came all the way down to the middle of my thigh. Sigh.

Click here to watch all the videos.

In less adorable news, once he turned two, he pretty much got on the train to tantrum town. He doesn’t do a lot of screaming and kicking (sometimes, though), but he gets upset, cannot be appeased, and just repeats “I want it” over and over. “I want it. I WANT IT. I want IT.” He can’t ever answer us when he ask him exactly what he wants, so I’ve decided this particular usage can only be translated as, “I want … satisfaction.” Little does he know he can’t get none.

A good time was had by all, mainly thanks to copious amounts of ice cream (and cake and cupcakes):

See all the second-birthday photos here, starting with Monday’s decorated eggs. And see Auntie Maureen’s photos here, featuring lots of great shots of all the kids who attended. And also, wow. He’s two. Wow.

Sadly, I started getting nauseous the morning on Christmas Eve and threw up for the entire day. Justin had it by about 3 a.m. Christmas morning, and it was BAD. Actually, he managed to recover enough by late afternoon that he sat at the dinner table while we ate our Christmas turkey, and we did at least get our presents opened that night — on actual Christmas Day. Now we’re just praying that no one else gets it. And also, seriously? Two years in a row?

But anyway, I know you’re all here to see our Norman Rockwell-esque holiday pictures, and Eli has been delivering. Turns out Keith has a spare Lincoln Logs train set:

Eli got reunited with great Grandma Pat:

He was super patient letting us get him dressed up to go outside:

And he actually took to the snow like crazy … he got right into the spirit:

And you want Rockwell? Here’s your Rockwell, people:

And here are some videos, for additional cuteness. First, playing in the snow:

And finally, “cleaning up” his new toys. Awesome.

Click here to see all the North Dakota pictures, and his Hannukah parties and visit to Santa Cruz pictures are here! And Happy Holidays!

To be fair, it came out as, “Daddy! Um ubba deers wid jayos!” But that just made it even CUTER.